Size Matters: The Lack of Inclusivity in Designs

I'm going to put this out there, front and center. I'm not the "ideal" standard of what society thinks of as "fit."

I'm fat. I wear plus size clothing.

I can't walk into any store in the mall and come out with shopping bags full of clothes. If they do have my size, it's hidden at the back of the rack. Or more likely than not, it's in its own section, in the back of the store, hidden from sight. It's filled with completely different styles than the "normal" sizes up front, because apparently at my size, I'm not supposed to feel cute. I'm just meant to cover up. Clothes shopping is a harrowing experience, and more often than not I leave empty handed and feeling empty hearted. I can't count the number of times I've cried in a dressing room. Or at least held in the tears until I made it safely to the car to cry in peace.

And to be honest, I feel the same kind of "clothes shopping" feelings when I scroll through Instagram and see my favorite designers releasing patterns for garments. They're cute, they're perfect, and they're not for me. It's especially triggering when I see post after post of makers knitting the same new design for a recently released sweater that looks so beautiful and soft, but only goes up to XL, which won't fit.

And going into the warm season, it's only getting harder with the abundance of crop tops, tees, bralettes, and beach coverups popping up in my feed daily.

I won't forget the feeling of purchasing my very first garment pattern from a designer I'd followed for awhile-- totally bursting with excitement to make my own tank top to take on vacation with me! And then I actually read the pattern-- Only up to XL. It wasn't an overly complicated pattern, and the math was fairly easy to figure out how to size up, so technically I could try to make it, but by that point, I was so discouraged that I never bothered to cast on.

And it's not just pattern designs. There's a new trend for maker apparel going on right now too. Most of them have a broad size range, but there's one maker that I've admired for a long time who only offered her t-shirts in S, M, and L. Not even XL. She posted on her stories not too long ago asking if she should even offer larger sizes. Her concern was that she didn't want a bunch of stock sitting around not selling. First of all, honey, us fat girls "make things" too. Secondly, we have cash just like everyone else that we would love to spend if you give us the option. But if you don't want my money, then that's fine. I'll support a maker who does instead.

I know this issue has been brought up within the community lately, and there are points being thrown around by designers and makers alike-- grading for an entire range of sizes is hard. It takes more time and more effort, so the patterns would end up costing more. If the pattern costs more, others feel they shouldn't have to pay for the full range when they don't need it. Which is essentially saying that they don't care about me as a maker. As a group, whose rally cry has been "Community Over Competition," you may not compete with me, but you don't view me as a valued part of your community either. Sure, I'm in it if I'm making hats and scarves and home decor, but fuck me if I want a hand knit sweater.

To those designers out there who are taking note of the conversations, who are designing for makers of all sizes, who are showcasing a full range of testers and other makers, thank you. Thank you for making me feel like I am valued. That I do matter. That I'm just as much a part of this community as everyone else. That I can make something I can be proud to wear, because for once I can see how it looks ahead of time. Thank you.

And to those who make excuses for not including everyone, that's fine. You do you. But know that my wallet is just as fat as I am, and it'll be supporting those makers who value me.